THE SUNNY SIDE OF LIFE

While I certainly have my regrets and a list of things I wish I had done differently had I known in my youth who I really was, life has not been all bad and I take pride in my ability to continually strive toward self-actualization, regardless of how many times I have been knocked down.

When I look back at my twenties, thirties and forties, I see multiple times when defeat came close to pushing me right over the edge. There have been times in my life when I could have taken paths that would have further complicated and worsened already-bad situations. Yet, my inner drive, self-determination, and underlying acceptance that I was born to accomplish so much more motivated me to pick up the pieces, take a deep breath, and begin again. Often, these new starts involved digging my way out of deep ruts and self-constructed pits. Many times there have been road blocks, detours where I was required to beat the odds, and times where I was able to rise above multiple limitations and restrictions. For a long time, I self-identified as a bottom-feeder; but eventually, I began to surface and finally began to feel the warmth of the sunny side of life.

In this present moment, I feel optimistic. I see amazing potential still hovering on my horizon, and still within reach. I cannot undo the past, but I can create each moment with a new awareness, and new purpose, and with the insights of many lessons learned. As I continue to strive toward economic self-sufficiency in a field for which I am perfectly suited and well-primed, I know that I will soon be able to create and build a life that is more truly and authentically my own. In doing so, I will feel even more of the warmth of the sunny side of life.

No, I cannot undo the past; but as I consciously construct the present, I will reap a self-styled future that will ultimately benefit my grown children because my plans, goals and aspirations take them and their needs into consideration. I have learned that living in the sunny side involves staying in the driver's seat of my life, and never again will I invite or allow someone else to have that position. Never again will I choose subservience.