SO REALLY, WHO AM I?

In practical terms, I am a mature, white female. I am the oldest of four daughters. Having been born in 1962, I am at the younger end of the Baby Boom Generation. I am the mother of four daughters and two sons and the grandmother of twelve.

But I am so much more than that. I am multifaceted and eclectic, and yet, very average and much like anyone else. While I am earthy, solid, practical, and motherly, I am also classy, stylish and graceful. I believe I am empathic, generous, intuitive and introspective, socialble, well-liked and personable. Yet, paradoxically, I am also reclusive, agoraphobic, self-absorbed, selfish, and picky. On the one hand, I am fascinated by the occult, hauntings, the Unknown and Unprovable. I am deeply spiritual and often religious while at the same time, I am scientific, practical, analytical, and respect facts and scientific method. I am both an intuitive tarot reader and an agnostic, believing just about anything is possible and yet knowing that very little is provable. I am mystified by a Higher Power and still I realize that "God" is quite likely a human creation that we long ago concocted to ease our insecurities and fulfill our lifelong need for a parent-image. I am a child in an adult body after spending my childhood feeling like an adult trapped in a child's body. While I can be mature, professional, responsible, and sage-like, there is a child-within who loves to play, to color, to dance in the rain and swim naked in the middle of the night.

I am the teacher, the healer, the helper. I am the counselor, the minister, the leader and the follower. I am the victim of child sexual abuse, of poverty, and of my own short-comings. I am paradoxical and admittedly inconsistent, much like life itself. All of this, and so very much more, makes me who I am.