A LETTER TO CHERYL

Cheryl,

There are so many things I wish I could tell you, ask you, and talk about with you. I guess this letter will have to do.

First of all, the day we buried Christina, we went to your resting spot and I made a deal with you. I asked to watch over my daughter on your side, and in return, I will watch over your son on this side. I believe you orchestrated the events that led to me being here, in your house, with your husband, and especially, with your son. There have been so many parallels for it to be just a coincidence Cheryl and I have to believe you had something to do with it. And now, after losing Christina, it seems even more likely that somehow, you knew.

I believe, had we met, we would've been great friends. It seems we had a lot in common. You must see how much I care about your children - especially Brian. He could be one of my own. I worry about him Cheryl. He's been through so much, losing you and then losing Christina. I'm trying Cheryl, to reach him, to support him, and to be there for him; but I'm not you. I can't replace you. I can only attempt to stand in, but you're a hard act to follow!

I know my Christina was often brutal with him and broke his heart over and over; but please be understanding, as only a mother can do. Be there for her - on your side. Stand in, for me; I am not a hard act to follow!

Help me Cheryl, if you can. You know I love your Jimmy (and he IS yours); but you also know the part of him that I struggle with - the same part of him that I believe you struggled with. Help me with that. He's a wonderful man, as you know, but he has an inner weakness (there's so much pain there) that he doesn't recognize nor admit to.

Cheryl, I will do my best to care for your son (and Tracy and Jimmy too, although they don't need me the same way Brian does). And our grandchildren Cheryl...Damien and Ada. Help me help them.

Thank you Cheryl - for everything.