NO APOLOGIES

I have entered a very selfish stage of life and I make no apologies. I firmly believe I have earned the right after a lifetime of giving, nurturing, mothering, and caring for everyone else's needs but my own. I am done putting myself last.

My quest for solitude reflects this self-absorbed, self-centered desire to be my own best friend and can no longer tolerate any hint of subservience. I want it to be MY way all the time. "I don't care what you say anymore this is MY life. Go ahead with your own life; leave me alone."

The other day I had a doctor appointment. The nurse came in and he asked me the obligatory, "When was your last menstrual period?" I responded with the usual, "Ummm, well, um..." and he said, "Oh yeah, I see here you are Menopausal." So it's official. My medical chart might as well say "Old Lady" in bold letters across the top. And I am NOT menopausal; I'm perimenopausal. I still get periods, from time to time. But I guess since the regularity is gone and has been replaced primarily with spotting as opposed to gushing and hemorrhaging, I am an old, menopausal patient. Well, at least I have an excuse now.

So I stand by my deep HORMONAL need to be left the fuck alone. Call me neurotic, obsessive, crabby, unreasonable, or whatever you choose. "You can stand me up at the gates of hell but I won't back down!" No longer do I feel obliged to tolerate much of anything that annoys me. If I don't approve, too bad. If it pisses me off, deal with it. If you can't tolerate me, find the door - and don't let it hit you in the ass.

Yeah, stick a fork in me; I'm done.