TESTING MY VOCATIONAL SKILLS

It's official: I have been admitted to the university's Master's degree program in Community Counseling. In June (only several weeks away), I will begin to work toward doing what I must to become a licensed mental health counselor.

Consistent with Life's serendipitous nature, my skills as a  potential counselor are being tested - to the extreme. My own children are struggling with establishing foundations upon which to build the rest of their lives. In particular, my 25 year old son, my 23 year old daughter, and my 22 year old son are each returning to the nest, unable to be self-sufficient, and looking to me to help them. In essence, I must devise a treatment plan for each one of them, and then guide them toward becoming who they really are.

This daunting task is one that would have been better met had our home not gone into foreclosure six years ago. So, this is unfinished business. Some have said that since they are officially adults, it is their responsibility now to do what they must to establish themselves; I disagree. I believe I owe it to them to assist them, as best I can, toward their next step. They are still adolescents, in terms of their emotional development and as a result of our household falling apart when it did. Therefore, I feel fully responsible for helping them transition into adulthood.

I must admit that I am somewhat angry that their father is no longer in the area and so the burden falls directly upon me. I admit that I feel some resentment that he fell short of providing all that was necessary when the kids were young; but, I was not much better. We both allowed the dynamics of our relationship to interfere with the primary task at hand: childrearing. Looking back, I now realize that we were selfish and never looked at our household from the childrens' perspective. As a result, the kids suffered the most. So now, as a result, we owe it to our kids to pull them up out of the chaos that we as their parents created. We must fix what we destroyed.

Realizing all of this puts me in a position where my vocational skills - however immature they may still be - are being called upon and put to the test. In the coming weeks, it will be my task to consult privately with each of these three, determine what they want to do, and then help them create a realistic, workable plan to guide them as they set out to achieve their goals. Naturally, their participation is mandatory; without it, however good my guidance might be, it will not succeed.

So my mind is racing with ideas and insights: vocational assessments, networking, creating resumes, and lots and lots of encouragement.

And it is not just my own three grown children that I will be assisting here, but also their partners. So it is a large task indeed. But, it will be a good test for me. It will train me to be objective, realistic, and consistent. I will need to explore what is available in the community that might benefit them. I must be creative. I must follow up daily to ensure completion of goals. And it won't be easy.

Doing all of this will also require that we all keep the goal in sight. And, it will mean that we must encourage each other. We can't fall back into the habit of complacency. This is our last chance to set a solid foundation. Without it, a lifetime of despair is inevitable.

It's a tall order, but I am nonetheless optimistic!