In the dream, I had been looking for her and had somehow found her - a phone number. I called her. She told me where she was (Florida??) and told me that although she could not come home, that I could come to her...but it would be risky. She was being held, somewhat against her will. She said she was well-cared for, but that it came at a hefty price: she could not leave. So I went to her.
I found her living in a very nice apartment. She looked good. She hugged me, and it felt so good to hug her back; I didn't want to let go. We visited and she told me about her new life: A man was keeping her there. He treated her well, but kept her from leaving. And she had to manage others that he was keeping...others who were often trouble-makers. Drugs?? Illegal behaviors?? But she did it. She had no choice. She could not return. I wanted to stay. I didn't want to leave her there.
The man (boyfriend?) came home. He was young, attractive, but as crafty, powerful, and manipulative as he was charming. He treated me with respect and told me I could stay - but that if I stayed, I would not ever be able to return to the rest of the family. I worried about Ada. Christina told me I should go back home - and to not worry. I didn't want to stay, but I didn't want to leave. I just wanted to take her back home with me. But I couldn't. I HAD to leave. And so I did. I thought I could perhaps find a way to rescue her, but it seemed impossible. We couldn't talk on the phone because he would KNOW; he would find out, and then I'd never see her again.
As I was trying to find my way back home, I changed my mind: I decided to go back to her. But then I couldn't. I couldn't find my way back. I was asking people on the street for directions, but the directions I got were conflicting - and I got the impression the people were intentionally mis-directing me; they were not to be trusted.
I woke up in tears - LOTS of tears. It's what I've needed to do, these past 29 months. I've needed to cry. I've needed to sob uncontrollably. And that's exactly what I did. I miss her. It hurts. But, even if just in my dreams, I got to be with her. I got to see her. I got to hear her voice. And I got to HUG her!
