HYPERGRAPHIA

If hypergraphia is the compulsion to write, then certainly hypertypergraphia must be the compulsion to write via typing and I admit to having both.

I remember being told that I simply think too much, and perhaps I do. It is through writing and typing that I am able to release those excessive thoughts, as my large crate filled with journals from over ten years of compulsive writing testifies to.

A lot of my writing consists of redundant ruminations about my hopes, dreams, fears, regrets, and countless other emotional responses to Life itself. At other times, my words become insightful, poetic, and deeply philosophical...like Life itself.

I have wrestled with the long-time desire to become published, but then convince myself that I have nothing unique to say. What have I experienced, discovered, concluded or concocted that has not been previously been featured in book format? Certainly, I am not the first to feel the elation of accomplishments, the regret of a decision poorly made, or the fear of my own mortality.

And yet, I am compelled to write. I am compelled to tell the story, explain the details, and chronicle the events. It is as if writing about my life's experiences will somehow diminish the regrets, make up for short-comings, and minimize the fear of my eventual passing from existence. I want to live forever and while that is not an option, my words may survive and my story may endure for generations to come.

And so I must now begin to tell the story...of who I am, of what I've learned, of mistakes I've made. I must tell about over-coming obstacles, beating the odds, and rising above. But I am also compelled to admit my defeats, confess my guilt, and offer explanations and rationalizations for the wrongs I have done. It will help you understand just as it helps me understand.

I have lived full-spectrum. I have experienced and committed terrible things. But equally, I have accomplished miraculous achivements, felt the hand of the Divine in my life, and reveled in the simple joys that are triggered by feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin, hearing the laughter of a child, or being filled with the satisfaction of a job well done. And I am willing and ready to share my full-spectrum life, not so that others might learn from my mistakes or vicariously experience good times; rather, I share to prove that I am not unique and that what I have experienced and the conclusions I have reached are what make me - and you - human. I remember reading somewhere that each of us are (a) like no one else, (b) like some other people, and (c) like no one else - and THAT is a paradox that I find most intriguing about being, well, Human!